Pajaritos with Evil Intentions

I opened the door to the cold living room this morning, looking for something to fry in the hot oil. We were running out of food again, so there weren't even any vegetables in the bin. "I guess I'll try frying garlic," I thought. You see, I wanted to try deep frying something, because Ephraim made some cool coating stuff for breading and it was working really well on the jalapenos. But suddenly I was surprised by a scuffling sound at the far end of the house. I had suspected I saw movement a moment before, and, looking up, was strangely not surprised to see a bird flying around. It was pretty, with white feathers standing out against black on the underside of its tail.
"Hey look Ephraim," I said. "There are two, three birds in here!"
"I wonder how they got in..."

We were returning home after a very satisfying trip to the Hunan Buffet with Mr. and Mrs. Cole, and I was unlocking the door with some confusion, for the lock only turned partway and then stopped.
"Is it already unlocked?" I wondered aloud, giving it a shove with my shoulder.
"Maybe it was locked from the inside!" Ephraim said in the mysterious tones of one recounting a ghost story. "And then you hear malicious tweeting."