Outrageous Proposals

When I was a young married girl I used to routinely tell my husband what I would and would not
 do. Or I would argue with him until he was sorry that he ever asked me to do anything.
 I remember when he first suggested that we home-school our future children. I said, 
"go ahead if YOU want to, I’m not going to do it”. Oh what grace, what power, what relationship 
I would have missed out on if I would have continued in this attitude. God’s mercy to use obstinate 
creatures is beyond my ability to imagine. 

I needed to stop fighting to get my way and start fighting for my husband.
Over the years I learned to support him in his leadership 
role with this family. This is why it is so important to marry someone who leads the family to glorify God.

I began to trust my husband more and actively support him in his leadership even when I didn't 
understand or want to do the thing that he was leading us to do. 

 It was like this when he packed up our whole family and led us in traveling to Chile, South America. We were so weak and immature and God showed us that He was Able. God showed us many wonders as a result of that year and a half in Chile.

When it was time to leave the house that we had been borrowing in Chile and we were running out 
of funds: None of us thought that we were ready to leave Chile. My husband was able to buy us a 
beautiful cabin at the beach instead of plane tickets back to America. We had some of our best
memories there.
 
After a year,  he left us all in Chile returned to the U.S, found work 
and earned enough to bring us all back. I was terrified to be left behind with 10 children. We were 
living in a 400 sq ft. cabin without electricity or indoor toilet or water.
I had to figure out how to pay our taxes and get the new baby’s passport through 
government offices using buses, collectivos and subways.  This had to be completely in
Spanish.

The Spirit filled us to do get these things done and to share the gospel with others.
At the time, I hardly feared, I hardly hesitated. Looking back, It is a little terrifying yet we thrived 
individually and as a family.
  

Back in America a few years later we decided to move out of our

comfortable home in the Portland area back to Bartlesville where we had 

lived for 6 months before. It was hard because we had to split up again to do it. The children and I 

went on ahead and Leon stayed while he worked and looked for a new job in Bartlesville.

Moving without my husband into an unfinished house in the winter with a 6-week old newborn baby, made my life very difficult.
 We were very uncomfortable from dawn to dark and sometimes during the night. None of us 
regret it now and even amid the difficulties we had so much fun learning new skills 
and being resourceful. We all love living here under the blue sky and sun.

Don't get me wrong, I am very opinionated and often push back too much. My husband is a very
good listener and we have lengthy discussions when I am very hesitant about the proposed plan.
Then my husband decides and I back him up. I support him- aggressively. I believe now that 
the women, who choose to become help-meets are choosing the happiest path. 

There will be big ways that we lay down our wants or supposed rights, and in small ways we
 do this every day. So do our husbands, but that is not ours to demand.

Our husbands are strengthened through our sacrifices and we are strengthened by theirs.
 We will see them go from the sweet

 boys we marry to strong men - strong in character and strong in the Lord. The young, pretty, boyish
 face we fall in love with becomes the old gray and weathered man that is not less, but more 
handsome. He is more attractive as the years go by as the strength of character and Christ-likeness
 shines through.

My husband is the bravest, wisest, and sweetest man I know. He can give up anything for
 God and to serve God. It took so many small sacrifices and brave acts to get to that point.
 In our example, it has taken 28 years of letting go sacrificially and lovingly.

I have not had a soft life, but my life is a treat - a thrill ride - full of surprise pleasures. I used to say that
 I am jealous of myself. I think what I meant by that was that I was very glad for the life I was 
experiencing and I didn't think I could enjoy the boredom and humdrum of other lives compared to mine.
 I have gone from an ignorant little girl arguing for her way into something much different.

 I am the happiest woman I know, (though I know there are many other women that can say the same).

I hope to encourage my sons to prepare to lay down their lives for their wives as Christ laid down
 His for the church. I hope to encourage my daughters to prepare to love their role as help-

meet. I believe that this is the happiest path to the most satisfying marriage.